“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Hey guys 🙂
This weekend was pretty chill. I didn’t party like I did last weekend, but I did get into some other fun things. I binge watched episodes of Power and the Have and the Have Nots. It was so relaxing to stay home and enjoy my alone time Friday. I had time to think and reflect on my recent decisions. There is so much importance in alone time. So many times we want to be out and around people, that we do not stop and take a day to ourselves. I have been thinking about things I like to do. I like to write… I like to sing… I like to do my hair. I do not know if I am actually good at any of these things, but they are what makes me happy.
A lot of people will not participate in a task, because they have no one to do it with them. But honestly life is too short! Stop letting others hold you back. if you want to go to a concert to see an artist you are in love with… go. If you want to go see a movie none of your friends are interested in go… If you want to treat yourself to a fancy dinner go… a lot of people feel awkward performing certain tasks alone. I personally am one of those people. However, being self sufficient is everything. Knowing that you can enjoy a task solo without fearing judgment or awkwardness is extremely healthy.
Another factor I am working on is my social neediness. I am constantly on my phone, or communicating with someone. If I am not talking to someone I feel a lack of importance or relevancy. This is embarrassing to admit, but it is true. Someone is constantly communicating with me and showing me attention. Ever since high school I have been in love with attention. I think it is because I always received mainly negative attention growing up. I was always teased and bullied so it feels good to get so much positive energy and feedback from others.However, it is not healthy.
So this week I am trying not to be on my phone as much. I will live in the moment and focus on real time rather than capturing every moment on social media or communicating to someone what is happening. It may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. I thought it was a good thing to be transparent, but certain events make me want to be a little more discreet. If I seem distant from anyone do not take it personal! Just trying to find peace within my inner self.
In addition, I want to get back into the gym this week. I felt better when I was going and now that I have more free time, I want to get back into the habit. Especially since I pay $20 a month. Every time I see the money come out my account, I think of how I am wasting money and need to get back at it. Due to stress, I have dropped 11 pounds since April. I have not worked out at all since then, but I wasn’t working out to lose weight, I wanted to gain muscle. Looking like I am in shape and actually being in shape are two different things.
Stay tuned to new updates 🙂 Looking forward to a great week.