Right before high school started my friend Curtis Philips introduced my friends and I to some high school guys who lived in his neighborhood. We started hanging out with these dudes and they were so cool! Meeting them gave me high hopes about high school, because they were all in the 11th grade and most of them were attractive. 

Once school started I was so happy. Lockers, cute boys, bell bottom jeans… it was just like the movies! I was making a lot of new friends, but I still continued to hang out with Curtis and the group. We all had so much fun chillin’ together, but at some point I started to get closer to the Asian boy in the group, Vincent Lang.

Vincent was amazing. He was a 6’3 basketball player who was funny and super romantic. We got really close and then he asked me to be his girl friend after a couple weeks. I agreed and I was extremely happy! Only two months into high school and I already had a boyfriend who was an upperclassmen and not to mention the total package. Vincent was polite, he didn’t pressure me to do anything and I could tell he liked me a lot. I had no stress and no worries dating him. I was about to be 15 and life was good.

Right before my birthday I messed up. Vincent and I had a happy relationship, but I couldn’t deal with everyone’s comments about our interracial relationship. I had never even thought of being with someone non black so I begin to feel uncomfortable once everyone started talking and judging me. This feeling made me start distancing myself from him. Our conversations were shorter, I didn’t want to hang out as much and I just wasn’t in it anymore… everyone’s comments made me feel like I needed to be with a someone black, which was stupid of course.

At this point Mocospace.com had just came out. Mocospace was like Myspace, but for your cellphone. I made a Mocospace and started talking to guys, even though I was still with Vincent. At first I would just flirt with guys, but I ended up going on a date with this boy named Mitchell and he asked me to be his girlfriend. At the age of 15 I was a player! I lied to both of my boyfriends and maintained relationships with both of them for about a month. However, I started to feel guilty.

I ended up confessing to Vincent that I cheated on him. I called him to tell him what I had done and he had told me just bought a cellphone. The whole relationship his mom was getting upset, because we would be tying up the house phone. I felt TERRIBLE, because I knew he bought this cellphone just to talk to me and I had just confessed to cheating on him. After my confession Vincent hated me,which I expected. I had to find new people to hang out with and I had so many regrets. Right after my break up with Vincent I broke up with Mitchell too. I just felt so bad that I needed to be alone.

After that I was depressed. I focused on school and vowed that I’d never cheat again. Just seeing how sad Vincent was made me feel like crap. All he wanted was to make me happy and I dogged him for no reason. To this day I never cheated again… and I never will.

My relationship sophomore year was different, because now that I realized how easy it was to get away with cheating I was more insecure than ever.